“Journaling is good for you.” There are thousands of articles, studies, blogs, and even videos about all the benefits of keeping a daily appointment with a pen and a book. Things like “handle your emotions better” or “boost your creativity” or even “improve your self esteem”. All of which are good, especially when people are coming to the end of a pretty rough year and looking for resolutions to start the next one.
Except we all know that resolutions last, usually, about three days before you eat that donut, decide it’s too cold to go to the gym, dive back into the twitter stream. It’s hard to be motivated by those vague promises.
What if the payoff was better? What if the benefit of a journal was You will have better orgasms? Or maybe Your kink will be stronger, deeper, harder, and blow your mind? That’s the kind of motivation that makes a habit easier to keep up with. If your journaling in the morning makes your lover scream louder as they orgasm that night, do you think you might want to come back to the pen and paper the next day?
Finding Focus for Fantastic F*cking
That’s what makes the 365 Days of Kink journal different. You get all the benefits of journaling, and you get to spend that time every day thinking about the things that get you off. Here’s some examples:
What are three things your partner can do that are simple, easy to remember and will make you happy?
One of the most common pieces of advice sex educators give boils down to this: you have a better chance at getting what you want if you ask for it. Here’s a prompt that boils that down into an easy page of writing. The power of discovering these things, along with the ability to give them directly to your partner, can be the difference between a good mood or a bad one, and that can make the difference between a hot scene and a meh one.
If you’re single, then you are even better off, because you’ll have it ready for when you are in a relationship.
How can you tell if you are nearing, or going past your psychological limits?
Hey, nobody said these questions are easy. But that’s what makes it useful. This questions starts with an implied writing prompt: what are your psychological limits? And then you go on to figuring out how you’ll know, which in turn makes it easier to let your partner know. That’s right, once again the way to having better kinky sex is communication — and the journal gives you the chance to practice being a better communicator without all the messiness of having to talk to another person. Figuring out the where your boundaries are is what gives you the ability to play closer to the edge, better equipped to navigate the emotional risks. Once again: hotter kinky scenes.
Design a kinky retreat in a much detail as possible: where, who, what, and how often?
This is where it gets fun. Remember, this is not Fetlife, this is not a public blog; this is a bound book with paper and pen, which means nobody sees it unless you hand it to them. You can go wild, express your deepest depravity, admit to those embarrassing crushes, and let your fantasy get as hot and imaginative as you like. This is the fuel for masturbatory moments all through the year. Draw pictures of the bondage equipment you dream of, design the menu of the science-fiction-themed protocol dinner you want to have, make a list of the toys you would want to use (and as it says, where and how often) for your BDSM Getaway Fantasy. Then you can pick and choose which parts you share with partners, and see how close you can get to making it a reality.
One of the things that can keep someone from daily journaling about kink (or anything else) is the idea that “I don’t need that. I think about this stuff all the time already.” Even if that’s true, there’s a difference between daydreaming and focusing on a specific question. It’s taking these deep dives, letting the words just spill out on the pages, that really reveals things that we overlook, things we have hidden from ourselves, things that we want and didn’t even know it until the desire revealed itself in the way you answer the questions.
It’s not a journal for a particular level of experience — these are not beginning or advanced questions, these are fundamental questions that make you a better kinkster when you explore them. Primal, power exchange, fetish, or just down-and-dirty sexy, there is literally food for thought – dirty, filthy thoughts – between these pages. As the book says, this is a way to “get inspired and make kink an active part of your life!”
Order your 365 Days of Kink Journal today by clicking here.
Got my 365 days of Kink journal yesterday. I’m not a person who journals, but this is an awesome book. Thanks @KinkAcademy!
— Nerys Anillav (@NerysinCO) January 6, 2018